Did I ever tell you?

There are days when if someone tells you, "God won't give you more than you can handle," it is perfectly acceptable to punch that person dead in the face.

If what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, I should be able to stop the world from spinning with just a stern "mom look."

I'm so proud of my kids, I could just about pee myself.

I never wanted to have kids, because of the screwed up world they'd have to grow up in ... and *that* was just the 80's!! Things would appear far more screwed up now than they were ... or I'm just more aware of it as a parent than I was as a teen.

When the world seems to be holding you under water, a hug and a kiss from a child can make it all better ... at least for a moment ... catch your breath, and keep on kicking.

Rats are way cuter up close than you might think.

Captain Jack Sparrow has got to be the best bloody pirate I've ever seen. I remember Depp from "21 Jump Street" and now we have second-generation Johnny worshippers in the house. That's a little disturbing.

I still remember our 10th grade history teacher making us memorize "antidisestablishmentarianism" but I don't recall his name.

I do remember Mr. Templin's name. He used to hum "Smoke on the Water" while we were doing quizzes. I don't really know why.

Is it really that odd to be able to bend the top part of your thumb back 90 degrees? (I mean, without using your other hand.) How is it that everyone can't do that? Why does it freak people out? I'm not double-jointed in any ways that are useful. I just have ... bendy thumbs.

I used to have pretty poor self-esteem as a teen, until I was informed that a jealous girlfriend of a boy I used to date, used to ask a friend all kinds of stuff about me, and was overheard saying in an exasperated tone, "She's perfect, except for her nose!" Ever since then I wanted to approach her and ask, "Just what's wrong with my nose? It's my dad's nose and I'm proud of it!" She changed my life for the better, and never even knew it. (Funny, she never mentioned my fivehead.)

What's a fivehead? Bigger than a forehead. Thank my dad for that one too.

I love my job. My ex used to say, "You get paid to play on the computer all day." Well, yeah. Pretty much. Check out this blog entry about graphic designers. It's all true.